fall-oween decorations

pumpkin

I’d like to take this moment to congratulate the citizens of Nyack on their excellent Fall/Halloween = Fall-oween decorations. I am truly inspired by what I have seen while driving around town, especially at night – we’re talking glow in the dark eyeballs, twinkling orange lights, lots of tombstones (some covered artfully with moss) …and was that a severed right or left hand I saw beckoning from a porch railing on Piermont Avenue ?

Thus far, we have kept things rather subdued on the exterior of our house. As pictured above, we just have one little, unassuming pumpkin keeping our little potted shrub company. But I assure you that as soon as you cross the threshold, it’s a veritable HAUNTED (RANCH) HOUSE. Prepare to be afraid, very afraid. Moo ha ha ha!

For example, there’s Stretchy Skeleton. Mostly, he chill-axes on the cement ledge under our fireplace in a perpetual state of “Heyyyyyy.”

stretchy skeleten hey

But he’s very flexible, so sometimes we catch him pondering the meaning of existence:

stretchy skeleten pondering

And sometimes he’s feeling sexy. Talk about creepy:

stretchy skeleten sexy

This spider has been causing a ruckus in the neighborhood. The real spiders in residence have been running away in fear. (And, I, for one, couldn’t be happier.)

fake spider

This guy likes to just hang around on one of our floor lamps. I think he might be the cousin of Casper the Friendly Ghost:

paper ghost

In case you can’t tell, these masterpieces are homemade:

cotton ball ghostsThe recipe for these extremely spooky ghosts was taught to me long ago by my mother:

  • 1 cotton ball
  • 1 Kleenex tissue
  • 1 piece of string (or dental floss, in this case)
  • 1 black magic marker
  • 1 burning desire to terrify all who pass

We have actually nicknamed these three Manny, Moe and Jack after the Pep Boys. We hope that if we have any more car trouble this month, they will be able to lend a hand.

Here’s how things are currently playing out on our dining room table:

lilies and lotus pod

And the aerial chandelier view:

lilies and lotus pod aerial

This arrangement doesn’t look particularly scary, but the blood-red powder that drops off the stamen of these lilies stains like nothing I’ve ever seen. Surely this pollen is more potent than anything in a witch’s cauldron. As soon as you touch it, it turns the most hideous and indelible color of yellow. You will never get it off your table, your counter top, or fingers. For the rest of your life you’ll have blood (-colored-powder that suddenly turns yellow) on your hands.

The only thing that’s scary about these dried lotus pods is how cool they are:

dried lotus pod

I got them last year and they’ve been standing proudly but quietly in the corner of my office ever since. After consulting with my inner florist, I decided it was a wise seasonal decision to add them to the spray of lilies.

On our kitchen bistro table, we have this gourd-geous arrangement:

gourds

I picked these gourds up at Old World Food Market in Nyack. What’s frightening here is the disease the one in the lower left hand corner seems to have caught. I really hope it’s not contagious.

gourd close up

In fact, I think gourds are probably my favorite Fall-oween decoration. That is why I nearly busted a gut when I read the hilarious (and extremely profane) piece about gourds in McSweeney’s recently. Whether you love gourds, hate them, or most likely, never gave them much thought, I highly recommend.

Happy Fall! And, more importantly, Happy Fall-oween Decorating!